Gone Resting, Be Back Soon

Spring break is a time of fun and adventure with no sleep and lots of tanning. This is the time where most explorers journey to the far reaches of the Alabama and Florida coasts to discover lost selves. I, however, will be doing none of the sort. After graduating from Auburn, I am moving to New York in the most reversehuntsville2 of Sweet Home Alabama fashion. Therefore, I need to save as much money as possible and take a much-needed vacation to my home in Huntsville, or Huntsvegas (as they say).

Sleep is Necessary

The only things I hope to discover are the inside of my eyelids during this spring break. Being the last spring break I get, I want to spend it resting and recuperating from four years of nonstop frivolities that have ended with me having permanent raccoon-like bags under my eyes.

Because of this, one of my goals is to get rid of those sleep-deprived bags and trade them in for some healthier, younger-looking bags. Bags that scream, “I’m a professional and sleep is a human function that I must partake in to ensure that I can play bridge with the Junior League later.” Those are the bags under my eyes that I want. I won’t reparis-hiltonst until I sleep them off.

Therefore, one of my objectives this spring break is to sleep 10 hours a day for the entire seven days in order to develop better bags under my eyes that won’t scare small children or make them wonder how I got that black eye. Until then, I will hide my face from the public like the Phantom of the Opera by wearing a version of Paris Hilton sunglasses. This will protect the target audiences of my life from screaming in horror at the current state of my face.

Exercise

Exercise is a must. That’s why I’ll be raising my arms for periodic Snapchats to my friends. Stick me in between Ellen and Kate Hudson Snapchatting and that’s my ideal spring break!

The Comfort of My Bed

One of my goals is to develop bedsores from staying in bed for too long by reading and watching Netflix. What was that book about the girl from Louisiana who became a successful trapeze artist after having her dreams crushed by her family goldfish? What about the book that contains 87 different ways to start a conversation? Consider them both read. I need to widen my book palate, which needs to start with my own bookshelf.

Books and Television

My objectives for having bedsores are to take every unread book in my closet and read them all. From books I bought only for the cool bookmark at my elementary school book fair to the self-help books my booksfriends gave me when my first boyfriend broke up with me in middle school. I will read every single one from the comfort of my “cama” (as they say in Spanish). Physically lying in bed and slowly losing my eyesight will be the tactics I will employ on this torturous venture.

Another objective for this goal is to find at least three shows on Netflix or Hulu to watch. I’ve never seen Gilmore Girls but 21, one-gghour episodes per seven seasons sounds like a fantastic way to stay put in my bed. Employing the “watch-eight-episodes-a-day-and-ignore-requests-from-Mom” strategy sounds like the perfect way to achieve my goals. What about ER? Watching one season per day is an amazing tactic that would illustrate the true beauty of George Clooney and include bedsores to boot. It’s a two for the price of one!

Being Productive?

I suppose another goal (at some point) would be to find a place to live in New York City. However, that’s not high on my to-do list. Bedsores and sleep come first, then living arrangements next. It seems like the logical answer if you ask me. From Italy to Mexico, my friends will be traveling far and wide on trips of a lifetime. My trip of a lifetime will be traveling far down the stairs and to my wide refrigerator to restock on food before heading back to my bed for a good hibernation. Check out this Odyssey article on “10 Perks of Going Home for Spring Break” here! Happy spring everyone!

 

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